zikes!

so i felt the first real twinge of panic about this pregnancy last night. there was no new news or revelation, just a sudden realization that our son will be here in approximately three months, and i am not at all sure i am cut out to be a father. i mean, i still occasionally forget to feed myself (although you wouldn't know it by looking at me), i still neglect to take my medicine when i am sick, and, as annie unfortunately can attest to, sometimes i still miss the toilet. who decided i was fit to rear a child?

regardless of whether he has a cleft or not, an extra chromosome or not, he will cry in the middle of the night, he will poop his pants, and he will be looking to somebody to address these issues. seeing as he is genetically half me, i feel i bear at least some responsibility to be a part of taking care of the situation; either that or i am going to have to start making way more money so we can hire an au pair. (we would never do this, i just love using unnecessarily fancy french words.)

this morning my friend paula shared a good piece of advice with me, which i heard as "don't pick up burdens that aren't yours to carry." we could spend all sorts of time worrying about all sorts of things, all of which could end up amounting to nothing. take it day by day, piece by piece, and play by play. plan wisely, work hard, and trust God to fill in the gaps.

there was a kid in my office yesterday, his name was aaron, and he spent the better part of half an hour shooting everybody in the place with my nerf gun. it made me excited for my son to get here, so i can buy him his own nerf gat, to go with his blue bandanna and his bling. in the meantime i am taking baby steps, asking for daily bread, and working on my aim.