the rest of the road

so things have resumed somewhat of a sense of normalcy around here. fires for the most part have been extinguished, people are leaving qualcomm as the chargers will play there tomorrow, and many of the evacuation centers are closing. it was cool to watch people give during the disaster, by the end the resources outweighed the needs, volunteers being turned away and people being asked to stop bringing stuff. san diego has responded generously, but i wonder what will happen from here on out.

as much as we maintain that we will never forget, we do. as good as our intentions are, they gradually fade. the changes that have happened to us and in us during times of tragedy often give way to mundane habit. the opportunities to give outlast the desire, and healing is usually a much longer process than our attention spans allow for.

fact of the matter is i don't like to think about other people. while i am not always a huge fan of me, i would much rather spend all my time being self consumed than i would focusing on anybody else. when their loss is thrust upon me like during the fires, suffering broadcast 24 hours a day, i can't help but think about it for the time being. but soon i surround myself with trivial collections, the glories of the internet, and 500 channels of cable. cell phone calls become unwanted interruptions to my self focused train of thought.

but wildfires are not the only time people hurt; tragedies happen everyday. i spent the thursday afternoon with a family whose 18-year-old son had taken his own life. his mom was ruined, wracked with guilt about not doing more for her boy. the younger siblings, including the junior high age brother and 10-year-old twin sisters, struggled to cope. how do you recover from a loss like this?

to be honest, i am not sure, but i know it will take more than "disaster relief". i imagine it will take a community who will remember, who will share stories, who will walk with them on the long road to wholeness. but even saying that feels a little hollow and contrived, not that it makes it any less true.