11 days old

thanks to plum district we earned a photography session with lavish lark. kimi came out and spent a couple of hours with our family, photographing the boys. she was kind enough to give us 9 of our favorite proofs. enjoy...

11 days old and still surviving.

respect the van

asher watching has quickly become a favorite pastime around here

what a difference 5 months makes. our friends ryan and judi came over last weekend and brought their daughter kayla, who was born this past summer. although the size difference was astounding, we know that asher will be catching up quickly. at his dr. appointment today, he weighed 7lb 13oz, having put on over 2 oz each day since monday when he weighed 7lb 4oz. our doctor told us that they are only supposed to put on half an ounce a day. apparently he has never seen our boys eat.

asher probably looks more like ryder than isaac at this point and if that is any indication of his personality we are going to have another huge ham on our hands.

brad an arja brought us mexican food and homemade coffee cake the other night. they also brought a tool set for the boys which was a huge hit.

aunt beth, uncle derek and my mom came over last night for some play time

isaac started playing "lick monster" while they were over.

everybody got a lot of exercise running away from him

especially aunt beth, who served as a pack mule

although i used to swear i would rather die, we bought a minivan a few weeks ago. while you can say that you don't like the way they look or the soccer mom connotation you might associate with them, you simply cannot deny that they are insanely practical. doors that open at a click of a button, seats that fold and move for easy configuration, and profile low enough for the boys to climb in and out by themselves all mean that having three 3 and under is not nearly as tough as it could be.

a few months ago i caught a glimpse of myself from the outside as it were, and all of a sudden i realized i was a middle aged dad. i change diapers, i give baths, and i buckle carseats all week long, but for some reason it was a surprise to realize that if a stranger looks at me, they are simply going to see a mid-30's father who is looking a little more fatigued than normal the past couple weeks. i just don't normally see myself through that same lens. maybe the van will help...

baby steps

so my initial post about our system equilibrating pretty quickly to asher's presence may have been a little premature. i know he has only been home for three full days now, but things are not settling nearly as fast as i wish they would. i took the day off today (mostly b/c i was gone all day yesterday snowboarding with my high school students--yes, my job is very rough) and let's just say it did not get off to a pristine start.

isaac marched into our room at a few minutes before 6, and i walked into his and ryder's room to find the younger one standing in his bed with nothing but a sagging diaper and sleeves on, the rest of his sleeper hanging behind him like a flowing, purple cape. then next couple hours went kind of like this: lots of bossing and whining from two toddlers probably feeling a bit stressed from undergoing a huge transition, dropping the gallon of milk on the kitchen floor, and to top it all off, suffering through barney's christmas video for what felt like the bajillionith time. needless to say everybody's patience was a little strained by the time momma and asher made it downstairs.

to avoid some sort of major family incident, the five of us decided to get outside for a while. you have to love january in socal, 75 degrees and sunny. yes, annie had major abdominal surgery only a week ago, but she ain't slowing down for nobody. after driving to the park, everybody kinda loosened up and the boys were able to expend some of their excess. you can hardly tell them apart in the video given their matching hats and shirts. overall the day turned out, and we should have it all figured out just in time for the next one to come along.

los tres hermanos locos

when we got home on friday evening, we approached our house and found it decorated, just as we had with the births of the two other boys. one of the funnest things about this time, however, is that both isaac and ryder had been a part of putting them together.

the thing that jumped out to me immediately about this grouping was the possessive "our brother". this phrase has rung true time and time again since we have been home.

this one is a little bit more hulk hogan: welcome brother!

isaac was absolutely ecstatic when we got home. he literally screamed, "baby asher's here!" and sprinted for the door

isaac had been holding one part of a plastic m&m holder in each hand up until we asked if he wanted to hold baby asher at which point he flung the pieces to the ground and jumped up and down.

holding him has quickly become a favorite hobby for both of the boys.

there are lots of necessary reminders to not touch his face

they crawl all over each other to look at him, and sometimes come pretty close to climbing on him in the process.

they also find it hard to believe that they were ever this small

ryder gives him one of his many hugs. although he was initially a little unsure, his thing lately has been to do a "hug by". he will run up, quickly give asher a hug (and sometimes a kiss) before he tears off around the living room again.

isaac has been ultra sweet with him, nurturing him and really looking out for him

asher brought the boys ice cream when he came home from the hospital, a peace offering designed to ingratiate himself with the natives

when we were looking forward to asher's birth, one of the things i was most excited about was to see how he would fit in with isaac and ryder. although i was largely thinking more along the lines of a couple years down the road, it has been heart breaking (in a good way) to watch them look out for him and involve him in the daily activity of the house. before you know it, they will have him in a headlock too.

one minor hiccup

here are the promised pictures that round out our last few days in the hospital:

my mom came to watch the boys at our place so that auntie bonnie could come meet asher

papa al came by thursday afternoon, all decked out in his hip new flannel

derek and beth came down on wednesday night, brought me red robin, and met their new nephew

he was pretty tired by the end of the day

...and annie's feet were a little swollen from all the fluids. there is a reason we call her p diddy after she gives birth. (hint: the p is for puffy)

this morning started out pretty well...

until our fantastic pediatrician dr. metsch told us that his bilirubin levels were borderline and that we were going to have to stick around to do a new test at 2pm.

after a visit from my mom in the morning, we spent rest of the morning and early afternoon just hanging in the room, trying to get asher some rays to help him with the jaundice. it was tough to be patient, but it made for some great pictures


please note the aforementioned hair on the shoulder

as we waited, my mind began to play progressively worse case scenario generally revolving around us being separated from asher when we left the hospital and he had to stay there. but dr. metsch called around 330 to set us free, and we were home by dinner time.

the short road home

**i am dreadfully sorry for the completely unacceptable lack of photos. the wifi at the hospital will not allow you to upload, or even to view, blog photos. (no social networking either. what good is the internet without social networking?) i promise that there will be a whole catalog tomorrow.**

our time in the hospital is coming to a speedy and largely uneventful close. although annie's shoulder pain returned with a vengeance yesterday afternoon and evening, she remarked this morning that this has been her best recovery of the three, and i would have to agree with her. we are scheduled to go home tomorrow, fully expecting to subject asher to a baptism of the kind if not brutish fire of his brothers.

this delivery has been by far the most mellow of the three, probably due in large part to the fact that it was the least dramatic as well. between isaac's cleft and ryder's stint in the nicu, asher's constant hiccups and mousy squeaks seem quite tame. we have spent many hours in our room just as a partial family of 3, our visitors having left us to the eternal air flow of the hvac unit and the parade of muffled hallway sounds just outside our oversized door.

all the solitude has been a gift for me as a strong introvert, allowing me space to read anne lamott while cradling him in one arm and time to notice that he is entirely covered in soft, fine hair much like the large leaf of some exotic rain forest plant or james' magically mutated peach. he seems to be able to, accidentally at least, raise only one eyebrow, a skill i am insanely envious of.

given the fact that annie and i both have dimples, i am not sure that it is even genetically possible for our spawn to avoid them, but asher apparently has gotten a double dose, one adorable muscle deformity on each of his munchable little cheeks. his hair is fuller than either isaac's or ryder's was, a medium brown that straightened after his bath and already looks like it is threatening to go blonde for a time at least.

i feel like we have hit a rhythm this third time around, the chaos of the first and second runs informing our expectations and assumptions surrounding the process. while i am sure there will be adjustments when we get home, i imagine our system will equilibrate pretty quickly. while i enjoy the relative structure and predictability of our pattern, i also hope i am able to be aware of the potentials of what my friend ryan calls the new normal.

ASHER HENRY MONTGOMERY

yesterday we were able to welcome our third son, asher henry montgomery, into the family. the day got off to a slightly inauspicious start when we showed up to labor and delivery at the ungodly hour of 5:30am and they told us that our appointment was not until 9:30, not 7:30 as we had been told repeatedly by our OB's office. the delay did give us a chance to run home and see our other boys though, and once we got back to the hospital things got under way.

thumbs up for high fashion

quite unexpectedly, even the doctors and nurses got into the numerical fever (one reason we chose to have asher yesterday is so his birthday would be 1/11/11) going so far as to wait to pull him out until 10:11am. our friend megan said he was probably on mountain time, which meant he was born at 11:11 on 1/11/11. 7lb, 7oz, 19.5 inches long of pure man.

having had two less than easy pregnancies/deliveries in the past, we were on our guard for any potential complications throughout this one. turns out asher wanted to give us a scare, spending a few hours in the nursery with symptoms similar to his brother who spent 10 days in the nicu, but then was able to pull it together and get himself out of there. his reaction in the mean time went from polite...

"may i be excused, please?"

to downright belligerent:

"somebody stop this madness and get me outta here!"

finally settling down into a mellow, yet very alert, rhythm

our typical stream of visitors has been curtailed slightly by new hospital rules, but that didn't keep gaga from coming to meet the little man.

auntie allie says looks like his brothers. actually, everybody says that. nobody compares him to annie or i, they only try to figure out which of his brothers he looks most like.

my mom and dad brought me dinner from my favorite mexican food place and held him until we had to break out the jaws of life to pry him out of their grip

i am pretty excited about him too

it is a very funny idea to think about when my wife is not the one occupying the bed

annie has been true to her form as a natural, nurturing and totally hardcore mother. although the nauseousness has been worse than in the past, her shoulder pain has been far reduced, a fact that we have celebrated greatly since that is typically the worst part.

asher sneezes...a lot. not sure if i missed that the first two times around or if he is just especially sensitive. he also makes a lot of noise. in his sleep, in his waking, pretty much all the time.

his middle name was the middle name of my grandfather who passed away back in august (and the first name of annie's great grandfather.) the last time i was next to a hospital bed was as i knelt beside him to tell him i loved him and that i was going to miss him. i had no idea how huge a whole his absence would leave. i still ache, but hope that in some way asher is able to continue his legacy and gentleness.

asher seems to know what is going home to, eating constantly as if bulking up for football season. that may not be far from the truth. his brothers have a cabbage patch they call baby asher, and they alternate between being very sweet to him and throwing him from the couch in a heap.

the boys talk about him lots, and isaac prayed for him the night before was born. this is more significant due to the fact that isaac's first and only prayer is usually "thank you for shamu." we are pretty sure they will like him.

thanks for all the calls, texts, emails, etc. we are tired, but we are excited to see how he becomes a part of our family.