the short road home

**i am dreadfully sorry for the completely unacceptable lack of photos. the wifi at the hospital will not allow you to upload, or even to view, blog photos. (no social networking either. what good is the internet without social networking?) i promise that there will be a whole catalog tomorrow.**

our time in the hospital is coming to a speedy and largely uneventful close. although annie's shoulder pain returned with a vengeance yesterday afternoon and evening, she remarked this morning that this has been her best recovery of the three, and i would have to agree with her. we are scheduled to go home tomorrow, fully expecting to subject asher to a baptism of the kind if not brutish fire of his brothers.

this delivery has been by far the most mellow of the three, probably due in large part to the fact that it was the least dramatic as well. between isaac's cleft and ryder's stint in the nicu, asher's constant hiccups and mousy squeaks seem quite tame. we have spent many hours in our room just as a partial family of 3, our visitors having left us to the eternal air flow of the hvac unit and the parade of muffled hallway sounds just outside our oversized door.

all the solitude has been a gift for me as a strong introvert, allowing me space to read anne lamott while cradling him in one arm and time to notice that he is entirely covered in soft, fine hair much like the large leaf of some exotic rain forest plant or james' magically mutated peach. he seems to be able to, accidentally at least, raise only one eyebrow, a skill i am insanely envious of.

given the fact that annie and i both have dimples, i am not sure that it is even genetically possible for our spawn to avoid them, but asher apparently has gotten a double dose, one adorable muscle deformity on each of his munchable little cheeks. his hair is fuller than either isaac's or ryder's was, a medium brown that straightened after his bath and already looks like it is threatening to go blonde for a time at least.

i feel like we have hit a rhythm this third time around, the chaos of the first and second runs informing our expectations and assumptions surrounding the process. while i am sure there will be adjustments when we get home, i imagine our system will equilibrate pretty quickly. while i enjoy the relative structure and predictability of our pattern, i also hope i am able to be aware of the potentials of what my friend ryan calls the new normal.